Video Games & Relationships: Was I Wrong To Be Annoyed?

Hey everyone, so I've got a situation, and honestly, I'm a little torn on whether I overreacted. Here's the deal: My boyfriend, let's call him Alex, is a huge gamer. Seriously, the guy could probably live in a game if it were physically possible. Now, I'm not entirely against video games. I understand that people enjoy them, and hey, sometimes they can be a fun way to unwind. But lately, it feels like Alex's gaming has been, well, taking over a bit. This has led me to some feelings, and I'm wondering if I'm the Ahole for getting angry at my bf for playing video games? I really want to know what you guys think, so stick around and give me your honest opinions!

The Gaming Situation

Okay, so here's the breakdown of the situation. Alex's gaming habits have definitely ramped up in the last couple of months. Initially, it was just a few hours here and there, which I didn't mind at all. I mean, we all need our downtime, right? But then it started to become a daily thing, and those few hours started to stretch out. We're talking late nights, missed dinners, and sometimes, even canceled plans. It felt like every free moment he had was dedicated to leveling up, completing quests, or whatever the latest gaming obsession was. You know, that competitive nature of the gaming world. And I totally get it, the feeling of wanting to reach the next level, or the satisfaction of finishing a difficult level is addicting. The thing is, this wasn't just about him playing games; it was about the impact it was having on our relationship. Quality time together was dwindling, conversations felt rushed, and I started to feel like I was competing with his virtual world for his attention. It's like I have to fight with the other gamers to be noticed. Communication, which is so important in any relationship, became strained. I'd try to talk to him about my day, and his responses would be short, distracted, or, let's be honest, completely unrelated to what I was saying. I felt like I was talking to a wall sometimes. Now, I'm not saying he never paid attention. He does try, and I know he cares about me. But the games were constantly there, a siren song pulling him away from our shared reality. It's just hard when one of your favorite persons in the world seems more invested in pixels on a screen. I felt like the relationship was slowly being put on the back burner, all for the sake of these virtual worlds. I tried to talk to Alex about it, expressing how I felt and why it was making me feel that way. His response was usually a mix of defensiveness and promises to cut back. There were a couple of times he would improve, but eventually, the gaming habits would creep back in. I started to resent the games. I know that's not rational, and it's not the games' fault, but the resentment was there nonetheless. That brings me to the core question: Was I the Ahole for getting annoyed? Did I have the right to feel this way? Or was I just being unreasonable and expecting too much from him? I truly believe that healthy relationships need balance, respect, and time. So if you're like me, feeling that the balance has been thrown off, then read on to see how you could make it better!

My Feelings and Actions

So, as you can imagine, this situation began to affect my mood. I found myself feeling frustrated, hurt, and, at times, downright angry. I'm not proud of this, but there were moments when I'd snap at him. It wasn't pretty. I know that communication is key, but it's hard to communicate calmly when you're feeling like your needs aren't being met. I felt like I wasn't being heard. I began to withdraw, too. I started to spend more time alone, which wasn't healthy, either. The more Alex immersed himself in his games, the more isolated I felt. I realized I was building up a lot of resentment. That's never good for any relationship. It's a breeding ground for bigger issues. I tried to talk to him calmly about it, expressing how his gaming habits were affecting me. I would tell him that I missed spending quality time together, but that felt like it was falling on deaf ears. There was a lot of back and forth, with me trying to explain and him trying to defend his hobby. I even suggested compromises: dedicated gaming time, scheduled date nights, and other things. He'd agree, but it seemed like things would never change. I'm a person that loves to be heard, and for a while, that was the thing I felt like I was missing the most. I made a huge effort to see things from his perspective. I tried to understand why he loved gaming so much and what he got out of it. I even tried to get into some of the games myself, thinking maybe we could share this interest and find a way to connect. That didn't last long, though. It just wasn't my thing. But I did want to know and understand why he was so into them. I really wanted to bridge the gap. That being said, I still got really upset with him for playing video games. I felt that I was not getting what I needed from the relationship, and I started to get resentful. I want to have a loving, supportive, and communicative relationship, so it was all very hard for me.

The Confrontation

The breaking point came a couple of weeks ago. We had plans to go to a movie, and the time kept getting pushed back. I asked him if he was ready, and he said